“Thanks, I don’t partake,” that’s the sort of answer you’d get from us regarding these ten cool things people do to their cars. A friend says they’re considering a year-long solo trip around the world. You’re pretty sure it’s not the best decision, but you also recognize it’s their journey and their choice.
In a situation like that, you’re not being a bad friend by not condemning their plans or fully believing in or encouraging them. Heck, you’d even support them in whatever they decide. You get the idea.
You won’t catch us dead performing these modifications on our cars even though we think it’s cool if you do. Your choice.
Complete Engine Swap
We’re gearheads, and we like to think we know our way around cars almost as well as the mechanic. The thing is that’s exactly why we know engine swaps require not just extensive mechanical knowledge but also specialized tools we may have no business keeping around the garage.
There’s no shame in being aware of the risk of damaging both the new and existing engines. Besides blowing the procedure, engine swaps can be one of the fastest ways to void your car’s warranty and, in some jurisdictions, ruin the registration and insurance status.
Even if none of these matters, some of us still won’t do it if there’s a chance of the swap altering the car’s balance and road manners.
Custom Body Work
Forgive us for saying this: We think people who partake in time-intensive, often expensive body mods have too much time on their hands. Do we think you shouldn’t have done it? Absolutely not. In fact, we appreciate the enthusiasm, and we praise a good one when we see it.
We’ll take pictures and write the story, but we’ll also call a spade if the job is shoddy work that probably impairs the aerodynamics and safety. Some mods directly or otherwise affect the vehicle’s structural integrity – say, altering the body panels.
What you do to your car’s body can be against the law in some jurisdictions. Something else to keep in mind is that custom bodywork can make or mar the car’s resale value. Enough said.
Nitrous Oxide Installation
We, too, have a need for speed but not that much need. We love the idea and won’t hesitate to hail folks who boost their vehicle’s horsepower by installing nitrous oxide (NOS) systems. We won’t do it, though. We love our cars too much. What else do you expect from a bunch of enthusiasts who mostly drive cars they’ve coveted for many years?
NOS installation has to be correctly calibrated and monitored or risk severe engine damage. It’s a risk we’re not quick to take, not with our cars, anyway.
We also don’t pretend to be unconcerned about the cost and complexity of upgrading internal components like the pistons. No, thanks. We’re definitely not looking forward to refilling those bottles.
Welding New Chassis Components
We get it. We get and respect people’s excitement with enhancing their vehicle’s performance or customization by grafting in new chassis components. We salute their bravery and creativity as long as it’s not our cars getting violated.
That sounds harsh, but altering the chassis can ‘violate’ the car’s alignment and built-in safety features like crumple zones and reinforced structures.
It takes skill and precision (which we possess in bucketloads, of course) because an improperly welded chassis is an invitation to structural failure. Plus, did you really expect us to invest our new Miata money on a MIG or TIG welder? Think again.
High-Performance Suspension Upgrades
We understand this isn’t done just for the sake of looking cool. We respect the need and dissatisfaction that led to upgrading to a high-performance suspension system. You want to sharpen the vehicle’s handling, stability, and ride comfort.
We wouldn’t get one, though, and that’s not just because we don’t have extensive knowledge of suspension geometry and alignment. Be willing to sacrifice comfort for handling with performance-oriented suspension upgrades.
Besides being an expensive mod, the upgrade often calls for specialized tools, such as spring compressors, alignment tools, and torque wrenches, which we don’t typically have lying around the house.
We might as well open a tuning or repair shop. After all, the new shocks and coilovers will need more frequent maintenance than the stock components.
Custom Paint Jobs
We won’t DIY a paint job on a car we care about, not now or ever. Why on earth would we want to stop anyone from doing so with their own cars, though? It’s absolutely cool if you want to, and we won’t laugh (at least not in your face) if your amateur attempts result in uneven surfaces, drips, or mismatched colors.
We can even support you with some tidbits: You need to do the job in a controlled environment where dust and debris won’t ruin the finish, and you need to watch out for the trim, glass, and interiors.
Some of us even shun professional custom paint due to the extra maintenance needs compared to the factory. Looking to resale in the future? Good luck convincing your buyer you have nothing to hide.
Interior Overhauls
Many of us here hate touching the interior in that way, let alone an overhaul. In our minds, you’ve totally ruined it by swapping the upholstery, tampering with the dash material, or any other such heinous acts.
You better know what you’re doing because the chance of new materials and cabin components fitting the existing interior is very slim in our books. You see, every car has its signature interior design. Stripping it is the same as violating the car’s essence.
We’d rather update or repair than undertake a major overhaul. Also, you risk disrupting in-built features with your little overhaul. Ultimately, it’s your car, your choice – until you wish to sell, that is.
Racing Modifications
There’s a good chance racing mod affects your car’s reliability, let alone the warranty. You may not even realize at which point your work falls outside street-legal regulations. We really have no desire to spend our modest salaries on fines and issues with law enforcement.
We understand the need for them, and we know it’s not always about speed. It’s more about character. At least, that’s what we want to believe drives those who do it. They are supposed to enhance a car’s performance on the track, with emphasis on “track.”
Since you don’t do that on a daily driver, how about saving the money towards a proper track-ready machine like the Praga R1R, Ariel Atom 4, Mercedes CLK-GTR, or even the Porsche 911 GT1 Strassenversion?
Advanced Sound System Installation
We thought this would divide the house – audiophiles versus tone-deafs and buzzkills. On the contrary, we’re united in our aversion to the extra weight and the risk of damaging the dashboard panels, wiring harnesses, or factory sound systems during installation. Plus, we don’t want to paint a target on our cars.
We want to believe our friends who installed high-end sound systems are aware they’ve just elevated their attractiveness to thieves. Secondly, we’re not comfortable with tampering with our car’s electronics and risk disrupting other features like navigation, Bluetooth, or steering wheel controls.
We dread electrical system issues, and no matter what they promise about closely replicating the factory finish, you’ve lost that “perfect fit” for good once they rip into your car in the after-market.
Drivetrain Alterations
The drivetrain is too critical for us to even go there uninvited. For example, transmission failure is one of the telltales a car is too far gone. Rebuilding or replacing them don’t come cheap, and rebuilding or replacing are often always your only options when they have issues.
So, why tamper with them when they aren’t broken? Modifying drivetrains for increased performance is expensive and requires complex calculations, and you’re always on the lookout for compatibility issues.
