In this digitally driven era, the majority of our communication is carried out via text. Whether it’s a professional email, a flirty Tinder chat, or a friendly Whatsapp conversation, we express ourselves through the written word more than ever before. However, when it comes to online dating, it can be challenging to understand the individual behind the screen before the first meet-up. Spotting insecurities in text patterns can save time, reduce disappointment, and ensure your safety.

In this article, we’ll explore 10 text patterns that can reveal insecurity in a potential date before you even meet them. This information will help you make better-informed decisions about who you choose to meet in person, potentially saving you from uncomfortable or unsafe situations.

1. Overly Apologetic

Messages that are excessively apologetic may indicate insecurity. If the person is constantly saying sorry for trivial things, they may have low self-esteem and a compulsion to please others. This can be exhausting in a relationship, as it often means that the individual struggles to assert their own needs and desires.

While a certain level of politeness is necessary, an abundance of apologies can be a red flag. It can indicate a lack of confidence, a fear of confrontation, or difficulty in maintaining personal boundaries. Be cautious if you notice this pattern in your conversations.

2. Constant Self-Deprecation

Humility is attractive, but constant self-deprecation can be an indicator of insecurity. If someone consistently puts themselves down, they may struggle with self-esteem issues. While a few self-deprecating jokes can be charming, a steady stream of them is not healthy.

It’s important to differentiate between light-hearted self-deprecation and a genuine lack of self-worth. The latter can lead to a toxic relationship where one partner constantly seeks validation from the other. This pattern is worth noting before meeting up in person.

3. Excessive Use of Emojis and Exclamation Marks

Emojis and exclamation marks can add flavor to a text conversation, but overuse can indicate insecurity. If a person uses excessive emojis or ‘!!!’, they might be trying to overcompensate for their perceived lack of personality or charm. It can also signal a deep-seated fear of being misunderstood or not liked.

While there’s nothing wrong with using emojis or exclamation marks, their overuse can signify that the person is uncomfortable expressing themselves more directly. This can lead to communication issues down the line and is worth being aware of.

4. Overly Formal Language

Texting is usually a casual form of communication. If someone constantly uses formal language, it might indicate that they’re trying too hard to impress or are anxious about saying the wrong thing. They might feel insecure about their conversational skills and overcompensate by being overly formal.

While there’s nothing wrong with proper grammar and punctuation, an overly formal tone can hint at a lack of ease and confidence in communication. This can make it difficult to build a relaxed, authentic connection.

5. Asking for Reassurance

Messages that constantly seek reassurance can be a clear sign of insecurity. If someone asks you if you’re still interested, if they’re annoying you, or if you’re sure about your plans, they might be dealing with insecurities about their worth or your potential interest in them.

While it’s natural to seek reassurance occasionally, constant requests can indicate a deeper issue. It can lead to a draining dynamic where you’re perpetually prop up the other person’s self-esteem. Keep an eye out for this pattern in your text exchanges.

6. Avoidance of Personal Topics

If someone consistently steers the conversation away from personal topics, it may indicate insecurity. They might be uncomfortable revealing their true selves, fearing judgment or rejection. This can make it hard to form a genuine connection, as openness and vulnerability are key to any relationship.

Watch out for this pattern in your conversations. While everyone has a right to their privacy, consistent avoidance of personal topics can indicate a lack of confidence or an unwillingness to open up, which can be problematic in a relationship.

7. Excessive Compliments

While compliments are nice, too many can indicate insecurity. If someone is constantly praising you, they might be doing it out of a need for approval rather than genuine admiration. This can lead to an unbalanced dynamic where one person is always seeking validation from the other.

Excessive compliments can also indicate a lack of authenticity in communication. Genuine compliments are great, but if they’re overused, it can suggest that the person is insecure and uses flattery as a crutch.

8. Always Agreeing

If your potential date always agrees with everything you say, it may be a sign of insecurity. They might be afraid of conflict or rejection and therefore suppress their own opinions. This can stifle individuality and lead to a lack of genuine connection.

Healthy disagreement is a part of any relationship. If the person you’re talking to never disagrees or shares a different viewpoint, it might suggest that they’re insecure about asserting their own beliefs and thoughts.

9. Overthinking and Overexplaining

If someone is constantly overthinking and overexplaining their thoughts or actions, they might be struggling with insecurity. They might worry that they’re not being understood or valued, leading to lengthy explanations or repeated clarifications.

While clarity in communication is important, excessive overthinking and overexplaining can indicate a lack of confidence in being understood or valued. This can create a tiresome dynamic in a relationship and is worth being aware of.

10. Infrequent or Erratic Replies

Lastly, infrequent or erratic replies can be a sign of insecurity. If someone takes a long time to reply or their responses are inconsistent, they might be overthinking their responses or unsure about their interest. This can make it difficult to establish a steady, comfortable communication rhythm.

While everyone gets busy sometimes, consistent inconsistency in their responses can indicate anxiety or insecurity. It’s worth noting this pattern, as it can lead to frustration and miscommunication in a relationship.