A couple is engaged in a lively conversation during a therapy session with a counselor.

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A couple is engaged in a lively conversation during a therapy session with a counselor.
Photo by Antoni Shkraba Studio

The phrase “fix her” often refers to the tendency of individuals, particularly men, to try to change or improve their partners’ behaviors or circumstances. This approach is rooted in the belief that one can help someone overcome their personal challenges, but it frequently leads to negative outcomes. These attempts can result in increased resentment, emotional distance, and ultimately, the deterioration of the relationship.

Psychological Implications

Experts in psychology note that trying to “fix” someone can undermine their autonomy and self-esteem. It fosters dependency rather than empowerment, which can create a power imbalance in the relationship. Instead of offering support, this behavior can lead to frustration and alienation, pushing the partner further away rather than bringing them closer.

Real-Life Examples

Numerous couples have reported that efforts to “fix” a partner’s issues—ranging from financial struggles to mental health challenges—can exacerbate existing tensions. In some instances, individuals feel judged rather than supported, leading to breakdowns in communication. As a result, many relationships suffer from a lack of trust and emotional safety.

Conclusion: Choose Support Over Fixing

Instead of attempting to “fix” partners, experts recommend fostering open communication and mutual support. Understanding and accepting each other’s flaws can promote healthier, more resilient relationships. Remember, relationships thrive on partnership, not projects. Prioritize understanding over intervention to ensure emotional well-being for both parties.